Category Archives: Writing Tips from The Godfather

Writing Tip: Sex and Violence

Written by: Wesley “Godfather”  Hunter

 

Though I’ve personally done so, on all accounts, it’s been said that it’s not in good form to show graphic sexual scenes that involve molestation, rape or incest. However, when it comes to sex and violence, for the most part, there are no structural rules.ratchet

Sex and violence are the big payoff. The reader has followed along and patiently waited as you developed the plot and let it unravel, so give them what they’ve earned. Don’t try and cut it short or sum it up in a paragraph or two. Sex and violence are your action scenes and, unless you just go completely beyond the outer realms of all reasonableness, and, as long as the scenes are smooth and well told, the reader will not mind or even notice if you drag these page turning scenes out for a while. In fact, they will be grateful for the on-going element, as long as it’s not all clunky and poorly written. Action scenes are where an author shows their depth and strength as a writer, and if it’s well written, the reader won’t even notice the lengthiness or the rule violations.

For instance, though it normally irritates and takes away from a scene  during the other parts of a story, I personally love to play with the P.O.V. during scenes of sex and violence. Switching with just about each paragraph, to help the reader to get a good feel. From the varied perspectives:

[EXAMPLE]:

”Ooh,” Tanya uttered softly, feeling him pierce her core. ”Go slow,” she whispered. ”It’s been a while.” The hard floor adding to her discomfort. Not to mention the old beer bottles and trash strewn about. In the distance, there was the blaring sound of an ambulance racing by. It was barely night. She wondered if someone might be dying.

Stern was the kind of guy who liked to know that he was felt. Pushing forward, he entered her harsher. Deeper. ”urrrgh! You can handle it.” with his hands beneath, he gripped her shoulders. Pulling her into his charge.

”Wait!” Tanya squirmed  trying to pull away. ”Oh, shit!” she locked her legs around him, then thought better of it, and opened again, while using her thumbs to push at his hips. ”Oow! Stop!”

Stern bit her neck, pulled at her shoulders, and pressed in even harder. ”Uhn! Yeah. Yeaaaah!”

”Oh, my God! Ohh!” she gasped for breath. ”Oh, shit!” she shivered. ”Sss-uh!”

”Shut up.” he whispered. ”Take this big-ass dick, you little bitch.” a crisp wind blew through the broken window. Timbs still on, he had his baggy cargos down around his knees. Her jean skirt was bunched at her wairt. Her jacket beneath her to cover the filthy floor.

Tanya dug her nails in and held on tight, hoping he’d feel her pain. ”oh! Fuck!” she breathed with a growing passion. ”You bastard.” a car raced by. She heard water splash in the wake of the speeding tires. No doubt, having pooled from the growing rains.

Stern bit her neck hard and fucked her harder, burying himself in to the hilt, desperate to bask in the full glories of her womanly wonder.

”My man gon’ kill you.” she said.

”Fuck him.” he told her.

 

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

There should be an author’s proverb which says: ‘Don’t talk over the heads of the people you are trying to reach’. Too often, we as writers can get enchanted with our own skills. We love the whole idea of language, and so we are constantly trying to find new ways to utilize the words we learn. This is especially true of prisoners, who tend to study the whole dictionary, and then extend unto the outer realms of society’s perch, that which time and circumstance hath helped us to become duly enlightened by. In the dire hopes, that our newly birthed discovery might, in some way, enrich those torn and tattered souls dwelling within the abyss of a humdrum adverse existence, unawares… *record scratch* STOP!   knowyouraudience2

Think of it this way: when you go look for a job, you tend to express yourself a lot different than you would at cousin Bay-Bay’s spot. The same for mingling with a college crowd, as oppose to chopping it with your folks at the club, etc. It’s not that we must ‘dumb-down’ our language, but simply that we don’t want our message/lesson to be lost on the very souls we intend to reach. What good is steak to a man with no teeth? It’s cursing you out in German, while wearing a smile on my face.

Bottom line: I won’t ever impress you, if you can’t even understand what I’ve said, right? It’ almost like standing in a doctor’s office or a courtroom, when, after all is said and shared, you’re still standing there like: ‘HUH? Ok, somebody tell me what just happened’. [he said you’re dying and you gon’ be in jail til you dead.] Lol. Exactly. Don’t get me wrong, I, for one, love kicking that intellectual text book stuff, but I ain’t tryna read it in no urban novel, feel me?

So, what kind of book are you writing?

Are you reaching the audience you intend?

 

 

Wesley “Godfather” Hunter

“GODFATHER” Hunter is an incarcerated author from Los Angeles, Ca. He has  written several books covering a variety of genres, to include self-help/how-to/advisory, autobiography, poetry, urban romance, erotica and street lit. Godfather has even taught urban lit during his many years of incarceration. He makes an added effort to lace his writings with history, social-political consciousness and other such pearls of wisdom while penning  in a style which many have compared to the likes of James Patterson, John Grisham and Michhael Connelly.

 

 

Quick Tip: GET RIGHT TO THE ACTION/DIALOGUE

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Remember, the narrative is the authors voice and you should try to be invisible because you, rightly, have no voice. So, get to the dialogue and give it to the characters. I like to use the Grey’s Anatomy example: notice, when the show starts, the scene is set with a brief narrative and ,then, it’s right to the action.

[EXAMPLE]

Martha never could stand Patrice and, when given the chance, she made good on the hatred she felt in her heart, in a way poor Patrice, of course, never could’ve imagined. After all, it had been years, but, then, how does it go? Oh, yeah: revenge is best served cold.

 “Oh, hi,” Martha exaggerated as she spoke, “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

 “Martha, is that you?” Patrice turned, leaned forward and kissed the shorter, chubby, girl on the cheek. “It has been ages, hasn’t it?”

 “Yes it has. Yes it has.” She smiled with just the faintest hint of a sneer. Not that Patrice noticed. “But, it seems like just yesterday doesn’t it?”

“Well, maybe for some,” Patrice kinda smirked as she shook her head, “for me, it was so long ago, it seems like a-whole-nother life time.”

“Oh, does it?” She was trying not to raise a brow and hoped Patrice wasn’t the wisest. “Oh, wow. Well, time is the great equalizer isn’t it?”

“Excuse me?” Patrice had an eyebrow raised now.

“Oh, nothing’,” Martha hurriedly said, “just something I’ve heard somewhere.” She waved it off. “So, how is Jordy?”

“You mean Jordan?” She corrected with a drip of venom. “Jordan is fine.”

“Oh, good. Be sure and tell him, I said hello.” And with that, Martha made her exit.

Show, Don’t Tell Me

SCENE

Tommy, treated Dana bad, and, just talked to her any kinda way, as he forced her to fulfill his needs, using her like his servant. ……..

RECORD SCRATCH

NO! Give it to the cameras/characters SHOW ME: ……..

Annnd ACTION:

“Come here, stupid,” Tommy mucked Dana upside the head. ……..

“Stop,” she cried as she always did. ……..

 “Shut up.” He grabbed her by the collar and shoved her to her knees. ……..

“Stop. You gon’ mess up my stockings.” ……..

 The two were at the door on their way to church, when, suddenly it was Tommy whom wanted to be worshipped. “Put it in your mouth,” he unzipped his pants and set himself free, “suck it.” ……..

“Boy…” ……..

He grabbed her head and parted her lips, “shut the fuck up.

 

shouting

When Characters Speak

Writing Tip: Every time a different character takes the stage by speaking, moving, etc. begin a NEW paragraph.

[EX:] “I just want you to know, you make me sick, bitch.” Tanya, stared at Nichole, with a challenge in her eye.shouting

[NP] Nichole smirked and waved her little sister off, “oh, I see you on some bullshit.” It was her son’s first birthday party. The women had ducked into the back yard. The always turnt-up Tanya claiming she needed to talk.

[NP] “Bullshit?” Tanya’s jaw was tight. She edged closer. Her voice a whisper. “Bitch, you call fuckin’ my man some bullshit?”

[NP] “Huh?” she was caught off guard. “What? Girl, you better…”

[NP] Pow!

[NP] The sudden back-hand caught Nichole off guard. “What the…?”

[NP] “Stay away from my man, bitch.” Tanya pointed. “I ain’t gon’ tell yo bitch-ass again.” She hoped no one had seen what she’d done, but, then again, she really couldn’t give a fuck. “Ole ratchet-ass bitch. I cain’t stand yo ass.”

[NP] As Tanya turned, Nichole watched, rubbed her cheek and smiled.

 

GODFATHER” Hunter is an incarcerated author from Los Angeles, Ca. He has  written several books covering a variety of genres, to include self-help/how-to/advisory, autobiography, poetry, urban romance, erotica and street lit. Godfather has even taught urban lit during his many years of incarceration. He makes an added effort to lace his writings with history, social-political consciousness and other such pearls of wisdom while penning  in a style which many have compared to the likes of James Patterson, John Grisham and Michhael Connelly.

The Use of Slang in Writing

Too much slang, like too much of any good thing, can be bad for you. – Godfather Wesley Hunter

 

slang_def

[EXAMPLE] “When ya come up from ’round da co’na hangin’ wit’ Jeff an’ dem, did yous ‘member ta stop ova dere ta da sto’ an’ grab dat wat I asked ya fo’?” just too much. This is a bad habit picked up from reading the titles of hip hop songs i.e. IN DA CLUB, ‘BOUT DAT LIFE [RULE OF THUMB] If it doesn’t change the SOUND then there’s probably no need to change the spelling.

Words like DEM/them, DEY/they, DA/the, FO/for, PO/poor, STO/store, DAT/that, JUS/just almost never have a useful meaning. Whereas words like GON’, AIN’T, Y’ALL, or even my personal babies: PROLLY and WHATN’T almost always do.

Bottom line: When it comes to slang, less is more. Your use of slang should almost be INVISIBLE and not cause the reader to have to slow down and re-read it. The reader is trying to breeze through a book, they’re not looking to be impressed by yo cre8tiv spizzellin’ trix…ijs

 

 

GODFATHER” Hunter is an incarcerated author from Los Angeles, Ca. He has  written several books covering a variety of genres, to include self-help/how-to/advisory, autobiography, poetry, urban romance, erotica and street lit. Godfather has even taught urban lit during his many years of incarceration. He makes an added effort to lace his writings with history, social-political consciousness and other such pearls of wisdom while penning  in a style which many have compared to the likes of James Patterson, John Grisham and Michhael Connelly